RE-Connecting with your body, turning down the Fear, and Magical Thoughts about food / eating...
Hello, everybody. Today I’m doing my card pull a little bit differently, and doing a 3 card pull.
So close your eyes, take a breath and just think about which number you want to pick – one, two or three, and then we’re going to go to the cards.
If you picked card no.1
This is the card that you picked. It’s an earth card and we have a D here so it’s a do card – it’s something to DO.
What the card says is:
“Your poor body. When was the last time you said something nice about it? Or even TO it?
We are being conditioned more and more to not accept anything less than perfect when it comes to our bodies.
Our bodies are not permitted to change, to get old, to go beyond a certain size.
Today, I invite you to connect with your body. Put both of your hands on your heart and just say “Thank you body. Thanks for breathing, for moving, for supporting me. I am truly sorry for everything I put you through. I am going to try and appreciate you a bit more from now on.”
Okay, so this is a very common situation. We have clients where they would say to me, “I wish I was just a floating head, like I didn’t have a body. I’d love to just be able to live on air. I didn’t have to feed my body, didn’t have to think about my body, if it just wasn’t there it would be great.”
But unfortunately it is a body, and you’re here and you live in your body. And that’s pretty much it.
But how are you treating your body? Are you nourishing or punishing it in the way that you eat? Or don’t eat?
Are you nourishing or punishing us in the way that you push it to exercise, over exercise, go way beyond its ability – or it’s in pain and trying to push through injury or if you’ve hurt yourself but trying to go the extra mile all the time…
Or is your body not moving? So are you spending a lot of time sitting being very sedentary? You know staying at home, and when working from home it’s quite hard. And particularly now in Ireland here, it’s cold, it’s the winter, do we really want to go out, it might be raining etc.
But does your body want to move, does it need to just gently stretch? Does it need to just rest? So just really remembering that you need to support your body as your body supports you.
Also, what you’re doing to try and lose weight and change the shape of your body is the very thing that is putting your body under additional stress, running a lot of cortisol and of course when we’re high in cortisol, we don’t lose weight.
So really being more in tune with your body and doing more of what your body wants and needs – a bit of meditation, gentle walking, stretching, eating differently so that you’re not punishing your body. Nourishing instead of punishing your body can go a long way towards kickstarting the changes that you really want to see but you’re not seeing.
So that’s a really important message for this particular card. To tune into your body a little bit more.
If you picked card no.2
Card no2 is an air card. So this is about our emotional energy. And it is again a new card so we’re going to be doing something potentially about our emotional energy. Okay.
There’s only so much energy to go around, and there’s only so much space in your head. So when your energy and your mind are taken up with things you really do not need any more, it’s time to do a clear out!
Keeping other people happy.
Constantly comparing yourself to others.
Replaying the past.
The idea of a ‘perfect’ life.
What can you let go of right now? Pick just one, and work on releasing it until it’s no longer actively taking up time or space for you.
So keeping other people happy is an emotional energy issue because it’s fear – fear of being judged, fear of being abandoned, fear of being rejected, fear of people not liking you or falling out with you if you say no. So that’s where the emotional energy comes in.
Constantly comparing yourself to others is another emotional energy issue because of course, again, that’s all about fear, you know that “I’m not good enough”, that “I don’t match up”< that “he’s better than me” or “she’s better looking than me” or “I’m ugly”.
So it’s all about judgment, and it’s all about fear. And it’s you projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto other people.
Over committing yourself – again, that comes into people pleasing, keeping a lot of people happy and over committing yourself and doing too much so, you’ve got this, and also being an all or nothing thinker, which is an absolutely universal personality trait we see in clients with binge eating disorder. So, over committing yourself, everything needs to be perfect – work, I have to be perfect at work have to be perfect at home, have to be the perfect friend, have to be the perfect sibling, the perfect daughter, son. So really making sure that you’re keeping all the balls in the air all of the time and completely over committing yourself, of course that means you’re exhausted!
So when do you get time for yourself? When you get time to relax, recoup, you know, just take a breath? And again, that’s all about fear, fear of dropping the ball and “being found out”, fear of people not wanting to be friends with you anymore or falling out with you.
Replaying the past. Of course, again, fear is what this is all about. Replaying the past – “I shouldn’t have done that. I should have said that. I should have gone there. I shouldn’t have taken the day off. I shouldn’t have stayed out so late last night – whatever it is.
Whether it’s the recent past, so replaying last night or last week, or, even replaying the past past, and spending time stuck in the past, you only have so much energy to go around.
So if you’re spending all your time in the past, then you don’t have energy to commit to the present and drive yourself forward to the future. I love the affirmation from Wayne Dyer which is
“The past is simply a trail I’ve left behind me. What drives my life today is the energy that I generate in every present moment.”
So what energy are you generating in every present moment and how much of your energy is invested or spent in the past?
The idea of a perfect life. Of course, again, this is fear – fear of judgment. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of not measuring up everything else we’ve heard already – my work has to be perfect, my house has to be perfect, the kids have to perfect my food has to be perfect. Especially now, Christmas is a big one.
And actually anybody who pulled this card in particular you really need to do my 7 Days of Eating Freely at Christmas challenge – challenge.eatingfreely.com – because we’ll be talking about this stuff a lot! But the card asks you to think about what of this list can you let go of right now, and pick just one, and work on releasing it until it’s no longer taking up time and space for you. So you might want to do this for a week – picking just one and catching yourself when you are “constantly keeping other people happy” or “constantly overcommitting yourself” or “constantly replaying the past”, and working on that. So that’s a longer-term piece of work to do but that’s what’s coming up for today.
If you picked card no.3
Okay, the third card then is another Earth card. So it’s a physical energy card, we’re looking at a bear, and it’s a ‘Reflect’ card, so something to reflect on or think about. The card says:
Wild animals are very good at ensuring they have food availability and avoid food scarcity. One example of this is preparing for hibernation.
Animals both store fat, and store food so they can make it through the leaner winter months.
Often clients who binge eat do the opposite. The ‘magic thought’ is “If I don’t have food in the house, then I won’t be tempted to eat. When I lose the weight, then I’ll eat again.”
What ‘Magical Thoughts’ do you have about food, eating or not eating?
And I’m just leaving little pause there for you to consider that the three question marks – like really? WTF?
So what magical thoughts do you have about food, eating or not eating?
A very common example here is people who work full time. Going into work, working full time and then you might have arranged to meet with somebody after work, or you might be going to the gym or you could be doing a class of some description.
And then you come home and it’s 7, 8, 9 o clock in the evening, and there’s no food. You haven’t prepared anything. You haven’t left anything ready to quickly reheat or pop into the microwave. You haven’t bought anything.
You haven’t got something that you can put into the oven or onto the stove but you might have a lot of raw ingredients, and in your head you believe that other magical thought of “I’m going to start cooking from scratch” at 8 o clock at night. And of course what do you do? You ring the takeaway or you get back out the door and go to the convenience store and buy something that isn’t going to really nourish your body.
So this is a very, very common trap that clients fall into. That false belief that if I don’t have food in the house, if I don’t have anything ready, if I don’t bring food with me, then I just won’t eat and then when I lose weight I’ll start eating again. Really, you’re on an absolute hiding to nothing on this one because the reality is – two things happen.
First of all, like our body card here (card no.1), your body is in high stress all the time because it’s in food insecurity, food scarcity – “where’s my food? What am I going to eat? I’m not getting enough fuel! It’s not nourishing what you’re putting into me!”
And then the other piece of it is that your body isn’t going to let you get away with it, and hunger is one of the key triggers for bingeing. So your body’s going to push you into as I say ringing the take away or getting back into the car and going down the road or pulling something crap out of the freezer and that’s what you are going to actually eat instead.
So you’ll be far better off preparing and being a bit more organized. Making sure that you’ve got either good quality ready meals that you’ve bought that you can easily heat up, or that you do a bit of food prep every weekend to make sure you’ve got a couple of portions of something that you can defrost, heat up or quickly put into the microwave. That you’ve got something to eat when you actually get home!
That magical thought if I don’t buy food and I don’t have food in the house, then I won’t eat it.
You know that’s not true.
You actually know when I’m saying this out loud, you’re thinking about it and you’re going “she’s absolutely right. It is actually ridiculous that I think that if I don’t have food I will not eat because of course you always end up managing to eat, don’t you? So how does that happen?!
So just debunking that thought. And what other magical thoughts you have about food eating or not eating and just having a think about those.
Okay, so I hope you found this helpful everybody, and just this week letting you know that I am doing a seven day free challenge for Eating Freely this Christmas, we start on Monday the 12th of December.
Challenge.eatingfreely.com to sign up and join me for seven days, live, completely free and let’s get you sorted for Christmas and ready to hit the ground running for January instead of starting again in January because we’re not going to do that.
Thanks for listening and see you again next week. Take care for now. Bye!